We’re All Victims

Rabbi Allen Selis, Head of School
The Solomon Schechter Day School of St. Louis

I asked a difficult question at the end of my third-period Rabbinics class at Solomon Schechter today (Oct. 23, 2008). “How many of you heard the news?” and “What should we do about it?” In response to the first question, every student but one raised their hands to say, “Yes, we heard about ‘hit a Jew day’ at Parkway.”

I was stunned—not just about how fast my students had learned what had happened, but how much detail they had. Some had younger friends at Parkway. Others described which subgroup had started the idea for this unofficial prank in the midst of Parkway’s spirit week...how it got out of hand…and who they knew that it might impact.

In response to “What should we do about it?” there were no hands raised. My students were confused, angry and wholly unsure about what to make of this incident, or how to respond. One of my most thoughtful students came up to me, upset at the suggestion that our entire middle school would gather to discuss the matter. “We’ve talked about anti-Semitism before. Again? Why?” My answer to her is the same answer that I offer our entire community. We need desperately to speak about this incident.

Here is why.

While the victims of harassment at Parkway West Middle School were identified and in some cases bullied for being Jews, I don’t see this as an affront to Jews alone. I view this as an attack on community, an attack on diversity…but at the same time, an important opportunity for us to learn a critical lesson.

If you are an adolescent, the most frightening message of “hit a Jew day” is that it’s not safe – or okay -- to be different from your peers. We live at a time and in a culture that celebrates individuality, but just as often punishes dissenters. Our kids feel pressure to look alike, to sound alike and to act alike. How else could such a senseless and offensive act of intimidation take place?

We, as Jews, are not the only ones in this society who proudly claim the right to be different, and to express our difference with pride. We are joined by people from many diverse backgrounds who insist that you may be a respected member of your school and community as a Muslim, as an immigrant from another country, as a person of color or a person whose sexual orientation is different from others. We celebrate the richness that those differences add to our society. And yet, difference still inspires both fear and a relentless, irrational need to make outsiders of those whose voices, whose faith, whose skin color is unique. This week was an attack on all of those potential outsiders—not just the small percentage of students who are Jewish.

Part of the journey from childhood to maturity involves learning to focus on the needs of others more than just ourselves. This includes a commitment to hear different points of view and to appreciate people whose beliefs, whose lifestyles and whose deepest values might be different from our own.

Children…schools…even entire communities…face the challenge of learning this lesson. They succeed when courageous leaders defend the right to be different. When individuals model this acceptance and respect in their own conduct. And when our public institutions are held accountable to such high standards.

On behalf of every child in St. Louis who deserves the right to be different, it’s time for us all to talk about the real victims of “hit a Jew day,” because they are all of us.

Rabbi Allen Selis, Head of School
The Solomon Schechter Day School of St. Louis